Sometimes You Have to Fight Through The Pain All By Yourself

I will never stop getting on here and telling you …  YOU CANNOT GIVE UP ON THIS LIFE OF YOURS. The one right in front of you. The one you are living. You were DESIGNED to fight through the pain! Whatever that pain looks like for you this very second, you CAN AND WILL OVERCOME IT.

In 1981, I pulled most of my hair out.

Pulled. It. Out.

I was 4.

And I have a lot of hair.

It was after another surgery. Another day in the hospital. Another night of wrenching pain in my legs from getting run over by a drunk driver that crashed into my family’s home.

The open wounds were burning and my entire body was throbbing from being cut open again.

I was stuck in a hospital room, with only the sounds of monitors and pacing feet.

Most every night my parents – at least my mom – stayed with me, curled up on cots next to my bed.

But when you are in the hospital for months at a time, life still comes up.

On this particular night, my dad who was working two jobs to pay for all the medical bills, fell and put his arm through a glass door.

My mom had to go meet him at another hospital, but when I woke up and didn’t see her, I was plain mad.

Mad I was there alone.

I started ripping out large chunks of my hair.

And kept ripping.

I was screaming.

Nurses came running in, as I was throwing my dark locks onto the floor.

Under normal conditions, this would have been painful.  But sometimes when you are so deep in suffering, you can’t differentiate what’s worse – the horrible situation you have been dealt, or the uncertainly of not knowing what day and what month all the pain will stop.

So my question to YOU – Has the pain … mental, physical or just the growing pains of YOUR LIFE gotten so intense you can’t imagine it getting any worse … but then it does?

That was me in 1981.  I promise you; it never got easier or less painful than the night this picture was taken. But here is what I need you to understand –  I overcame it. AND SO CAN YOU!

YOU CAN OVERCOME ANY PAIN. AND TRAGEDY. ANY INJUSTICE.  (Did I mention the drunk driver walked free and didn’t pay me a penny?) 

With that said, being alone that night, I learned sometimes you have to fight through the pain all by yourself.

You have to rescue yourself. Even if that means pulling and screaming and crying. You have to fight through it, every painful minute of it. BUT YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT!!

I learned the pain can sometimes be so intense you want to simply give up. You can’t see through the struggle far enough to make it feel worth the energy of persevering. BUT YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT!!

I learned our God will transform that pain into growth. Every. Single. Time.  The body a drunk driver destroyed, He built back. The hair I ripped out, He grew back.  The little girl so full of anger that night, He emptied and filled back with grace and joy. None of it was easy.  BUT HE WON’T LET YOU DOWN!!

As I sat there practically bald on my hospital bed, my 4 year old self learned that inducing self pain, doesn’t mask other pain you are currently feeling.  BUT YOU DON’T NEED A MASK ANYWAY.  All you need is a mindset – YOU CAN AND WILL OVERCOME. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! NOW YOU BELIEVE IN YOU!!