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#momfail. I cussed at my boys and In front of my neighbors!

“Have you lost your damn minds?” 

I can still hear it replaying in my mind.

I told my kids they could ride their new bikes around the block. One time! And to be back in five minutes to head out to basketball practice. They nodded and assured me they would be right back. They are 7 and 10 and are fairly responsible.

Well, five minutes passed. Then ten.

I walk outside, and no kids in sight. 

I yell their names – no response. 

Now I am freaking out.

I get in my car and begin to drive around the neighborhood. I call my dad and have him start driving around the neighborhood.

Thirty minutes passed, and no sign from either of my boys.

It’s beginning to get dark, and now I am in a full-fledged panic.

I start calling neighbors and friends. 

No one has seen them.

Forty-five minutes pass. I’m looking up the number for the police department.

Fifty minutes pass.

It’s now pitch black. 

We miss practice altogether, and I still can’t find them.

I dial the 9 on my phone, getting ready to type in the 11, then it happens.

I get a text from a neighbors nanny, saying my seven-year-old and ten-year-old are playing with the kids she cares for in their back yard.

I rush over, and I am sweating from panic and hot from anger. 

The second I roll up, they are laughing and in the middle of a competitive soccer match, oblivious to my near heart attack. 

I rolled down the window and yelled out, “Have you lost your damn minds!?  I was 2 seconds away from calling 911. You can’t just disappear and not tell me where you’re going.” 

I could see neighbors were outside, and I didn’t even care. I was fuming mad. 

“I said five minutes, and it’s been one hour!”

But mom, they said, “We were playing a game!” 

I bite my lip and looked up at the sky, hoping Jesus, God, or a guardian angel would calm me.

“Get in the car. Now!” It’s all I could muster. 

The sweet nanny stood there, clearly unsure how to respond.

It wasn’t her fault.

It was my kid’s fault.

And it was my fault I said damn in front of them. Not my proudest parenting moment, but also one I can’t change. 

I tell you this story because I’m sure so many of you, like me, have lost your cool.

You have said and done things in front of your kids you wish you could take back. 

Well, no parent in the universe is perfect. And if someone tells you they are, they are lying to you. 

I apologized later for cussing, and the kids assure me they had heard the word damn at school. 

It did remind me, it’s ok to make mistakes. Our kids love us through them. 

And by the way, the boys have now taught their four-year-old sister the word damn. And when she used it this week in a sentence, instead of beating myself up anymore, I turned my back to her and silently smiled at the fact, she used it correctly in a sentence in the carpool line. 

“Mom, why are we still at the damn school?”

I, of course, had to then have a talk with her about that word.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving, unfortunately. Mom fails all around. 

But tomorrow will be better. 

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22 Comments

  1. Ainslie
    February 10, 2020 / 12:26 am

    😂😂😂🥰❤️❤️

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:09 am

      Hey sunshine!!! hope to see you on my show soon!

  2. February 10, 2020 / 2:09 pm

    Nicole, I have been there. Long story short I have fears of someone taking my son. And it being someone he knows. We were in a store and he in the mo middle of a rack of clothes. And would bot answer. He was playing hide and seek. And I lost my mind. I cussed at him in the middle of the store where. I found him. I was in full panic mode as well. I get it momma. Just always remember. Parenting does not come with a how to manual

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:10 am

      The fear is real for every caring parent. I wish our kids had the same carefree child we had where we didn’t have to worry about being kidnapped! Have a great day Nick.

  3. Rena Dudhmal
    February 10, 2020 / 2:17 pm

    I wish I could have done that. Not only would I have said damn there would have been a string of other words with it! I’m not a hitter so he was grounded all the time! I said yes his dad said no. My only advice to a parent is for both of you to be on the same page. That is a problem. Wish damn was all I said. He is now 51 and doesn’t know right from wrong.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:11 am

      Rena, thank you so much for the note – it made me smile! Oh trust me, mine spend plenty of time grounded too. They are hard headed ….wonder where they got that from!? 🙂 xoxoxox

  4. Wren Manners
    February 10, 2020 / 3:10 pm

    Nicole, one of my favorite posts. My girls are 32 and 28 and I have been there. The sheer terror of not knowing where your kids are subdue any practical, calm thinking you would normally have. And I bet the neighbors thought to themseves… been there. You are doing a great job. It’s hard work.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:12 am

      Wren! I think neighbors about 5 blocks away heard me scream! not a shining moment! but thank you so much for your sweet note!! xo

  5. Lori
    February 10, 2020 / 5:13 pm

    Panic! A horrible feeling. We are all sinners saved by HIS grace. Thankful your children are ok. A good life lesson was learned by all, I’m sure.
    My kids are grown, one a pharmacist, one a teacher. They both live for Christ. I have two GRAND blessings. I made mistakes as a mom, and as a mimi I thought, I’ve got this because I have experience. Oh no, even as a mimi mistakes are made.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:13 am

      Lori, So true! I thank God each day for His grace and ask him to protect all of our babies out there in this dangerous world!

  6. Linda Woods
    February 10, 2020 / 6:11 pm

    Yes, unfortunately all Moms (and Dads)lose their cool when they are in a panic about the safety of their children. I am as guilty as the next parent. We do not use profanity casually. Yes, they hear these words at school. When our son was about four/five years old he heard a very BAD word at daycare and repeated it at home. I asked him “Where did you hear that?”. He replied (named his BFF at daycare) says it. I reported it to the daycare worker and she confirmed that the student had used the word and they are trying to explain to him that the word is not acceptable is to not be used again. I have never heard our son use it again. This happened about 50 years ago but I shall never forget the shock of hearing that awful word being spoken by our son.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:15 am

      Linda, I remember when my middle child learned a bad word from the neighbor …. I was so sad then too because I could not make his ears “Unlearn” that word … sometimes makes me want to live in a bubble but I know that is not practical either!

  7. Sharon
    February 10, 2020 / 6:18 pm

    It happens. Forgive yourself and move on. You were in a PANIC and not in total control of yourself at the moment Any Mom would have been, and probably have been, in the same panic mode. You handled it. Worst feeling in the world thinking something has happened to your children. The worst. We cannot be held accountable in those moments. We are the hardest on ourselves.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:15 am

      Sharon, yes, it was bad! I grounded them for a week and went out and bought tracking devices for their bikes!

  8. Clif Payne
    February 10, 2020 / 6:55 pm

    Couldn’t blame you. An expletive in a crisis is understandable and most forgivable. The kids had no way of knowing the terror they were putting you through. In their innocent minds they were just playing and were totally oblivious to the time. They don’t understand child predators and kidnappers nor do they understand the horrid possibility of accidents. However, Moma does! Unfortunately we live in a world where all too many horrible things happen. When I was a child I left the house on Saturday morning and didn’t come home until dark. We didn’t lock our doors and no one thought anything of it. If we did something wrong our neighbor would give us a spanking and then we got another one when we got home. Those days are long gone. It is with difficulty that we let our children out of our sight for fear of what could happen. Oh how we wish it were not so but until we inherit the world to come it seems this is the world we have to live in.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:17 am

      Oh Clif, you are so right! That is the same childhood I had growing up in the 80’s. We had no idea how lucky we were and our parents had no idea how lucky they were not to worry 24/7. It makes me sad our world has so much evil we have to helicopter parent.

  9. Syl mcclain
    February 10, 2020 / 7:20 pm

    ROTFL!!!. I was about to say, that word was probably something they’ve heard before and MORE!. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re human. There are some parents who curse at their children all the time. They use the words as adjectives. You can hardly watch TV without someone cursing. Pat yourself on the back for being a parent who cares and keeps track of her children. You’re not someone who put them outside, locked the door so you could get a break, and allowed them to show up whenever they felt like it. With the abductions that happen now I can easily understand your frustration. Chalk it up as a another episode in the lives of Mama Allshouse and her children. Then move on. That must have been some soccer game and your daughter learned a new word.:)

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 11, 2020 / 1:18 am

      I cannot believe how bad TV has gotten speaking of that! I was letting my kids watch the Disney movie, The secret life of pets, and they even curse in that! I was shocked! Let’s just pray my daughter doesn’t teach her classmates the word damn! xoxox

  10. Nina Hughes
    February 11, 2020 / 3:04 am

    Nicole you’re a mom talk show host human. Maybe show them a real Dam maybe just thinking out of the box.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 15, 2020 / 12:40 am

      ahahaah! Nina, you are hilarious!

  11. February 11, 2020 / 3:43 pm

    It upsets me that you think you failed at being a mom. Think about the moment and what led up to it. You reacted because you thought your children were in danger. You became “Mama Bear”. You made them pay for their actions. They will and have heard far worse in everyday life. And you taught them a very valuable lesson. That for every action, there is a reaction. No need to apologize for being a loving and responsible parent. By the way, I am a parent, grandparent and great grandparent. They will still love you always.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 15, 2020 / 12:37 am

      Hi Alice! Yes, I definitely went into mama bear mode!!!! And congrats on the 3 generations of babies!!

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