It’s been a while since I have written. In many ways, this is odd because writing has always been a form of therapy for me.
But sometimes, life can be harsh. And trauma hits abruptly. It takes all the words out of your mouth and stirs them viciously around in your brain. They sit there for months, almost paralyzing your mind. I wrote on Facebook recently that I once heard my father say years ago, tragedy and silence have the same address. I now know this to be true.
After 14 years at one television station, they no longer wanted me. I was forced to walk away from a show I helped create, launch, and grow to record-high ratings. 2008- 2021 is a long time.
I found myself in a state of grief. The career I had for so long died. I spent months in mourning. I was lost and confused. Shocked and sad. My husband had not seen me this way. My children were unsure what happened. I will write more about the experience, but for now, I will leave it at one straightforward truth – life is not fair. And no one promised it would be.
But that is not the point of this note. I write today to remind you that God always takes things away to replace them with something better. Better may not come in the same form you had, but it shows up. Better may not roll in immediately or when you expect, but it comes. Better may not look or feel like anything familiar, but it arrives anyway.
Think back on your own life. Loss of a job? Loss of Friendship? Loss of Spouse?
Did something you love die?
When this happens, we have two choices. Drown in a pool of pity or decide to heal. Remember, healing only comes after the grieving process passes, and there is no time limit on grief. For some, it takes months, and for others, it takes years.
Healing may start with a simple trip to the grocery store. It may begin by picking up the phone and returning calls that have been sitting in your voicemail for too many days. Healing may mean therapy. Or a total overhaul of your life plans. There is no magical way to heal. You have to feel the anguish until one day the pain stops pricking you daily. And then you realize you are on the path to healing.
And like a flash of lightning, you catch yourself smiling again. You finally comprehend your self-worth and understand it is in no way tied to what died. How you were treated in a toxic workplace or a toxic relationship is not a reflection on you but is linked to the empty souls that once had too much control in your life.
And then you finally let go. You dig out the hope buried beneath the trauma. You reinvent yourself. You fight back. You start over.
And this time, you are much wiser. You are much stronger. And you thank God for making you walk through hell. You always thank God for the pain.
You finally live.
And it feels like you’ve waited your entire life for this time.
(P.S. Stay tuned in 2022 for my book on healing. I didn’t want to write it. But God kept telling me it would help someone. So if you don’t see me, I’m writing.)