2   41
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14   49

Free Yourself From The Critic Or Bully In Your Life!

When you truly stop caring what the critic has to say, you free yourself.

I look at this picture of me as a kid. 

A huge steel bar protruding from my leg. 

Open wounds where the screws pierce into my skin and continue on, into my femur.

I went to school like this.

On crutches.

Wearing lift shoes.

With my pants cut open so the incisions could breath. Imagine going shopping for school clothes, only to come home and take scissors to all the pants you just purchased.

Doctors told me to be careful. “If you get bumped, it will cause severe pain and it could really set our progress back.”  The worst fact, “If you don’t clean the wounds three times a day with peroxide, you could get gang green and we will have to amputate your leg.”

I was a child.

A child that learned very quickly how to roll with life’s uncertainty.

Thank the Lord, I attended a small elementary school in Ohio where I’m confident most parents gently briefed their children about “the girl who was run over by a drunk driver as a toddler.”

And thank Heavens I also had an older brother who was my buffer, making sure other kids were kind to me.

Sometimes I wonder what he heard in those hallways. But I have never asked…

Mainly because it wouldn’t change the past.

But primarily because my heart breaks, thinking about that little boy having to defend me.

He too was just a child.

My memory is not superb …. perhaps a blessing, but more than likely, just because I was put under so many times. But here is what I do remember.

I remember the stares when I would try to get out of my mom’s station wagon during carpool.

I remember the whispers when I would have to sit out during gym class.

I remember the wide eyes when kids would get too close to me in class.

But more than anything, I remember facing all of that head on.

When I realized kids were uncomfortable, I would talk to them. I would tell them they could see or touch my legs if they wanted to. I didn’t hide behind the medical devices. I would smile and continue with my studies.

And it worked.

Did some kids make fun of me behind my back? Probably.  Did some boys not ask me out on a date because they thought my legs were ugly? Perhaps. I have no idea if my wounds grossed other students out or if they felt sorry for me.  

But here is the thing – none of that was my business anyway. 

If you are reading this and you have a critic or critics in your life …. I want you to ask yourself this today. Why are you paying attention to them? WHY? Do not make their thoughts your business. Do not make their opinion your bible. Do not allow their words to set your mood.

Instead, pay attention to following your dreams. Pay attention to becoming a stronger person. Pay attention to the opportunity around you.

When you stop caring about what other people think or don’t think of you, you become free.

My entire life people have called me a loose cannon.  What they THINK they see is unpredictability.  A carefree spirit.  A girl who speaks her mind.  And a woman who doesn’t care if people approve or disapprove of me.  Yet what they are REALLY seeing, but can’t describe, is freedom. If they want to believe that makes me a loose cannon, so be it.  I’ll take it.

Now, as an adult, every time I go to the beach, I still get stares.  Every time I put on a bathing suit, I still see the eyes travel down to my scarred legs.  It’s o.k. I assume people – like my old classmates – are just being curious, not mean.  And when you can give other humans the benefit of the doubt, you win again.

That’s double freedom!

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8 Comments

  1. April Del Rosario
    April 17, 2019 / 2:35 pm

    Wow. Just wow. I can barely see right now because of so many tears flooding my eyes. I needed to read this today!!! A huge thanks to you, Nicole… thank you so much for sharing your awesome perspective!! Love it!!! What s beautiful testament to living free!!!

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 22, 2019 / 5:28 pm

      Thank you so much April! You keep reading and I’ll keep writing! It makes my entire week to know a message hit the right spot!

  2. Corey Northington
    April 17, 2019 / 3:17 pm

    Nicole you are really an over comer. Glad you share this with your audience.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 22, 2019 / 5:27 pm

      You gotta keep fighting Corey! If you don’t overcome, you succumb and that’s no good for anyone!

  3. Jenny Moon
    April 17, 2019 / 4:18 pm

    Nicole,
    You are a great role model for young ladies. I tried with my daughter and now with my granddaughters to let them know that other peoples opinions don’t define them. I think my daughter is doing a great job with them! Keep up the good work!!!!

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 22, 2019 / 5:26 pm

      Ohhhh, so happy to hear this Jenny! I try to be the person my kids will be proud of. You are blessed with a daughter and now granddaughters to help them in the journey … it’s so much harder with social media these days for young ladies to ignore the critics.

  4. Diane bishop
    July 12, 2019 / 2:24 pm

    Girl, my favorite part is where you say… their thoughts are none of our business! Sooo EXTREMELY true! Too, many of us worry what people think or say. We tend to forget alot of negetivity, hatefulness from other is actually their OWN personal problem. It comes from somewhere in their life of a unresolved matter, experience, or the way they was raised that is much unresolved and set free!

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      July 30, 2019 / 4:48 am

      Yes, mean people will always be around Diane! But we do not have to give them permission to turn that hate toward us. Take the higher road – it’s less traveled but much smoother in the end! 🙂

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