Accepting Post-Baby Body verse Pre-Baby Body

I am not going to lie.

I miss this body.

I’m pretty sure that’s the same sentence every mom in the world has said.

Silently.

Or while trying on swimsuits this time of year. 

We may all have “mommy brain,” but we still remember what our swimsuits looked like on us, pre-baby. 

This was taken on my honeymoon, when I was 31.

Now I’m 41.

With 3 little kids. 

I miss my tight tummy. 

I miss my perky chest.

I miss my wrinkle free face.

Hear me clearly, I am not at all dismissing how magical it is to help create and then carry life.  It is truly God’s purest blessing. 

What I AM saying is, that it’s not a selfish thought to miss a younger and firmer version of ourselves, every once in awhile. 

That doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the body you have now! After all, the body you have now, birthed a human being. And that alone makes you a miracle worker. Those stretch marks are earned! My point is, when an old picture crosses your path – don’t compare the 20/30 year old version of yourself to the 40/50 year old version of yourself!  That’s such an unrealistic expectation, especially since gravity exists!

And if you are a man reading this, compliment a mother in your life. You will never truly be able understand what a woman’s body goes through for 9 months at a time.                         

Our skin is stretched.  Significantly. Deflated. Stretched significantly again. Deflated again. And that’s with 2 kids. Imagine the mamas who have 3, 4, 5, 6, kids. Veins pop out we didn’t even know we had. Brown spots mark our face. Our hair changes texture. Our boobs sag. Our feet grow bigger. And that’s just part of it. The reality is this – even if you stay in the gym 24/7, your body will never look “exactly” like it did pre-baby, without the help of cosmetic surgery. Us women have to accept that fact and not be overly hard on ourselves.

With that said, ladies, you are not a bad mom for seeing an old snapshot and thinking how young and refreshed you looked … and secretly wishing you still had “that look.”  After all, you were young and refreshed at one point. Then your children kept you up all night, vomited all over you, and spent years after that taking up the time you used to reserve for napping and going to the gym. But it’s worth it. They are worth it. 

And my friend, you are worth so much more than you know.

Sincerely, a mom of 3

(Also known as  “jiggly” according to my 9 & 6 year old)

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12 Comments

  1. Irene
    April 10, 2019 / 1:29 pm

    Well said!! And great points, Nicole❣️
    For health reasons and a desire for Hod to keep me here for our best creations, I lost 120 lbs at 61-in 8 mos. The crepe is real- gravity and time are real Laws of Science!!

    I’m lose, in skin heart, mind, judgment and yet… feel I am at my best yet!!

    Thank you for your affirmations!! Love you, dear Nicole❣️

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 14, 2019 / 2:25 am

      Irene, we will be loose skin sisters forever!!! xoxox I am so proud of you!

  2. Corey Northington
    April 10, 2019 / 2:49 pm

    I like your body as is. You still don’t look like a mom of 3. Beside their are plenty of women in their 20s and 30s that would love to have your body Nicole.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 14, 2019 / 2:24 am

      Appreciate you Corey. I think it’s hard for a lot of men to understand this, simply because their bodies don’t have to change like a womans during pregnancy!

  3. Val Bagley
    April 10, 2019 / 3:27 pm

    Nicole , I appreciate that you are open and honest , that you share with us what most of us have held inside and beat ourselves up over. My size 6 leather pants may never come out of the closet again , but I’m 60 now and I have accepted alot of body changing. The old saying of pick and choose your battles wisely…..that includes choosing not to beat myself up over the changes I see in the mirror. Try to embrace the changes because women do alot of sacrificing. Choosing to have a family, raise the children, the lack of sleep, the late night worrying, the school activities, all the home life duties and trying to squeeze out a little time for yourself, but still pushing to give more. There is more to us than a great body. Ladies, you are all beautiful and worthy!

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 14, 2019 / 2:22 am

      I love that you have leather pants, Val! I have always been too afraid to buy any! I always want to be authentic and open on this blog … we can all rise if we lift each other! xoxo

  4. Corey Northington
    April 10, 2019 / 3:45 pm

    WOW! I like your body as is. You still don’t look like a mom of 3. Beside their are plenty of women in their 20s and 30s that would love to have your body Nicole.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      April 14, 2019 / 2:21 am

      You are kind Corey!

  5. Wilma Rhinehart
    April 29, 2019 / 10:31 pm

    You are so transparent! Good article! So true to life.
    At 81 (82 in June) my body has seen many changes three babies one did not survive, arthritis, now last week breast cancer-lumpectomy and stroke the next day. But through all of this I am thankful for my children, their children and husbands. I’m even thankful for the way I look- the drooping face has straighten up, no slurred speech anymore. God has been sooooo good to me!
    Yes, we had our days that I had planned for happy memories to turn into something different. And yell I did. But looking back your children will remember the day they went to pick strawberries and what THEY DID- throw, eat, stomp and have a great laugh about it…..not what mommy did! We tend to have selective memory. Be happy! Love with your whole heart! You’re doing a good job.

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      May 1, 2019 / 1:20 am

      Wilma, this has to be the nicest note I have received! That is such a good way to look at life. I love your positive attitude. And I am so grateful you are doing better. God only allows rough things to happen to us, so we can continue to grow in HIS vision!

  6. Janey
    February 11, 2020 / 5:51 am

    Nicole,
    You are beautiful pre baby & now. I so get what you are saying… and have said them about myself many times. While I don’t miss my life without my girls.. I miss the energy I had, the ease of losing weight, the no crinkles around my eyes.. but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Thank you for sharing your post. I’m glad I’m not alone in my thoughts.❤️

    • nicoleallshouse
      Author
      February 15, 2020 / 12:39 am

      Janey! You are definitely not alone …. so many hard parts of being a mom! I guess that’s why God makes us fall in love so deeply with these little creatures, so we can try to ignore all the other things that change on our bodies!!

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